As I’ve moved around the country a bit, one thing that’s always struck me is just how weird going to a new grocery store is. Every area has two major grocery chains, and you fall into the habit of going to a particular one, usually the closest to you, but every now and then you have a reason to go to the other.
When you go to the other one, it’s like every single little detail is different, but they all add up to the same exact thing. It’s a lot like visiting a foreign country. They have all of the same stuff, but it all looks different, or is in a different place, or is just a little off in some tiny imperceptible manner, but it’s so close that you know that you could get used to it, and if you did, you know your former place would seem just as alien. You spend your week walking around the strange new world until it doesn’t seem that strange anymore, and then you go back home and do it all over again.
It’s amazing how every single thing changes from one store to another. One has metal carts, the other plastic. One has the Advantage Card, the other has the Ultimate Card. The entry is always by the produce department, but sometimes the rest of the store is to the left, and sometimes it’s to the right. One has Food Club generic brands, the other has Topco. One has red order separators with the name of the local newspaper written on them, the other has blue with USA Today.
I always feel like I’m in some sort of bizarro universe, where everything is the opposite. I’m waiting for the cashier to say “goodbye” when she first sees me, and “hello, and screw you for shopping here douchebag” when she’s done. The bagger will then throw my groceries haphazardly into the cart and say “please don’t ever come again.” And I won’t, because I like my grocery store, and this place gives me the creeps.
