«
»

Things I Would Do If I Were The World's Richest Man

  1. Offer Tiger Woods a $200 mil per year contract to be my butler. Sure, he’d say no, and he’d go on making $100 mil a year golfing, and take his rightful place as the widely acknowledged best golfer of all time. But he’d have to live the rest of his life knowing he could have made twice as much money folding my laundry.
  2. Commission Sam Adams and Stone Brewery to make 40 oz. bottles (in that same Colt 45 shape) of all of my favorite, seasonally appropriate brews, then fill my fridge with them like in that Dr. Dre video.
  3. Have a money burning furnace. It would probably cost a lot to pay someone to shovel Franklins into my Franklin stove without simply absconding with my fuel, but it would be worth it.
  4. Invent the autonomous underwater crab harvester. A small machine that, when set free, trawls the ocean floor looking for various tasty creatures, throws them in a basket and brings them back to me. Then I’ll never turn on Discovery HD hoping to see Planet Earth only to find some crappy show about how hard it is to be a lobster fisherman again.
  5. Found a country. Imagine a land with ubiquitous Wi-Fi, and where having an IQ of under 115 means you’ll be deported.

What would you do if $100 billion dropped into your lap?

This entry was posted on September 3, 2007 at 3:25 am and is filed under Pointless Words of Wisdom . You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed Both comments and pings are currently closed.

2 Responses to “Things I Would Do If I Were The World's Richest Man”

  1. keith Says:
    September 3, 2007 at 6:33 pm

    I think I would do two girls at the same time. I think if I had 100 billion, I could hook that up.

  2. ikirigin Says:
    September 5, 2007 at 8:18 am

    Yah know that Ben Franklin invented the pot-bellied stove? You could have a Franklin Franklin stove. It would be very good at distributing the money-heat throughout the room.

Comments are closed.