MattMaroon.com

If you work for the TSA, I hate you. I just thought you should know. And because you’re always so condescending to everyone, you should also know that you’re one rung up the socioeconomic status ladder from my dog. In fact, he routinely catches pests like moles that would otherwise be eating valuable crops, so he might actually contribute more to society than you do. As far as I can tell, all you do is make people throw away (and then presumably buy and replace) cigarette lighters. That’s your contribution to humanity, increasing Zippo’s quarterly profits by a fraction of a percent.

I’m sorry I forgot to take my goddamned shoes off, but it’s 7 in the freaking morning and I’m usually going to bed at this hour. Unlike you I don’t have a job pushing a button and pretending to look for guns that makes me wake up at that time. We can’t all be smart enough to check passports, because if we were, who would flip the burgers?

I have to give you points though, if I worked a job that a chimpanzee could probably do after a week of training, I wouldn’t have the balls to look down on every business traveler (who would probably make more in a week than I did in a year) who forgets that bottles of water are verboten. You do, though I’m sure you’d never phrase it that way because anyone who works for the TSA has probably never even heard the word “verboten”. Look it up.

Oh, and by the way, today I put a little travel sized container of lotion in my pocket and walked right through. And I had a bottle of Purell in the other one too. No Ziploc baggie either. Eat it sucker.

 

This entry was posted on April 20, 2007 at 6:57 pm and is filed under Stuff That Pisses Me Off . You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed Both comments and pings are currently closed.