More On Landmines
Well, I tried Googling for landmines but couldn’t find anyone selling them. Damn international peace treaties. Apparently you can adopt a minefield, though I don’t know why anyone would want to do that. I was part of a group that adopted a highway once when I was in high school and that wasn’t fun. It was bad enough trying to pick up used condoms with a pointy metal stick without having to worry about the ground exploding under me.
So apparently there isn’t any sort of commercial landmine company. Maybe I should start one. Acme Munitions has a nice ring to it. As far as I know the peace treaty only prevents the military from using landmines for anti-personnel purposes. It doesn’t say anything about civilians using them for anti-Corolla purposes.
I can’t be the only person who wants to purchase this sort of thing. I can think of at least a dozen uses for landmines in every day life. Rabbits eating the vegetables in your garden. Neighbors who keep letting their dog do its business in your yard (note that in this case the landmine is used on the neighbor, not the dog). Home security. Coworkers who keep drinking the last cup of coffee but not making another pot. I could go on all day.
I got excited for a moment when I saw this:
But upon closer inspection it turned out that none of those advertisers actually sold land mines. So much for eBay’s “Whatever it is, you can get it here.” slogan. They need to amend that to “Whatever it is, other than landmines, you can get it here”. I do have to give eBay some credit though, after a little searching I discovered that they at least had paintball landmines, which could be a hell of a lot of fun. Shopping.com had nothing at all. They suck.
